


To Be Alone

by StellinaGatsby



Series: Like Real People Do [2]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 3
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fantastic Racism, Platonic Cuddling, Pre-Relationship, Self-Esteem Issues, The Lone Wanderer Has Abandonment Issues, Touch-Starved, mentions of pet death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-01-25 22:50:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18584221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellinaGatsby/pseuds/StellinaGatsby
Summary: The Lone Wanderer arrives late one night in need of emotional support.The only person who's ever kind to Gob needs some kindness in return.This work was previously titled "To Have A Friend".I titled the series after a Hozier song and I'm titling all of the component stories with Hozier songs as well.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Touch](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7306468) by [orayang](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orayang/pseuds/orayang). 



> Rated T just for cursing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor edits made 13 May 2019, including switching from a nameless Lone Wanderer to Sarah, who appears in my story "Hurry My Loved One".

> Honey, when you kill the lights & kiss my eyes
> 
> I feel like a person for a moment in my life
> 
> But you don't know what hell you put me through
> 
> To have someone kiss the skin that crawls from you

 

“Hey, Gob,” a quiet voice said behind him. He flinched despite himself; he knew it was Sarah, but… he startled easily.

It was late, almost time to close. Moriarty had gone to bed already. Gob was the only one left in the bar.

“Hey, friend. What can I get you?” Turning to face her, he noticed how thin and ashy her face had gotten. Her eyes looked far away, circled in dark and sunken in, almost ghoulishly. The haunted, exhausted expression she wore in place of her usual cheerful confidence morphed her face so Gob almost didn’t recognize her.

“You… you okay?”

“Yeah,” she said, “I got a little too much radiation, I think. I’ll see the Doc in the morning.”

He didn’t answer.

“I visited Underworld while I was in the city. Carol asked me to give you this.”

Before he could respond, she had her hand on his side. He tensed, instinctively curling into himself.

“Don’t hit me…” It came out automatically; he didn’t actually think she would hit him. She hesitated for a second, but then she finished pulling him into a hug.

His heart fluttered. It had been years since anyone had touched him, except when they were hitting him.

He wasn’t sure what to do, his arms hovering at her sides, but not hugging her back. The first gentle touch he’d had since he left Underworld and he was frozen in panic. He could feel her trembling, from the radiation or exhaustion, he wasn’t sure.

“Your mother loves you,” she murmured into his shoulder. “And she misses you. And she hopes you’re happy.”

Happy? He had a hard time remembering what that felt like.

She pulled away from him and his heart jumped into his throat. He didn’t want the hug to end - he wanted to wrap his arms around her and hold her in place and let the tenderness of her touch melt all the pain and tension from the past decade out of him - but he still couldn’t bring himself to hug her back, frozen in place, useless and terrified.

She still had her hands on his forearms, squeezing them gently, her hands shaking.

“Gob?”

“Yeah?”

“You know I’d never hurt you, right?”

He couldn’t meet her eyes. “Yeah, I know.”

Part of him did know that: she had never given him any reason to think she’d hurt him. She’d never even insulted him or been rude to him. And she was kind to him; or at least, what had come to be kind in Gob’s eyes. Maybe she was just polite and he was so used to mistreatment that neutrality seemed like kindness.

Another part of him couldn’t believe there was anyone who wouldn’t hurt him. What made her any different than every other smoothskin asshole in the wastes?

He desperately wanted her to be different. He wanted just one person in his corner, and he wanted it to be Sarah.

“Is it okay if I hug you again?” she asked. “For me. I could use a hug.”

“Yeah. Yeah, sure.”

She slid her arms back around his middle, holding him gently. The feeling of her pressed into his chest was overwhelming, causing his brain to short-circuit. He still wasn’t sure what to do with his own arms.

After a few moments (a minute? an hour?) he noticed something warm and wet seeping into his shirt. She sniffled and he realized she was crying, almost silently, while hugging him.

That was enough to trigger something in the back of his mind. He put his arms around her, one hand going to the back of her head and stroking her hair. He wasn’t sure what made him think to do that other than some vague childhood memory of his mother soothing him while he cried.

“It’s okay, kid,” he said.

“I’m sorry.” She pulled back. She wiped her eyes, but she was still crying. “I’m sorry. I’m going to go.”

“Wait…”

She looked at him with watery eyes. He didn’t know what to say, but he felt like he was failing her by letting her leave.

“Do you… do you want to talk about it?”

“It’s just…” She hesitated. “It’s too much. I’m doing everything I can. Every waking moment, it’s something else. Someone needs me to save them. And I can’t say no because it’s legitimately life or death and no one else can or will. And I’m so tired. I’m _so_ tired. And none of it seems to be making a difference.”

She broke down at the end of her speech, lowering herself onto a bar stool, silent sobs shaking her so hard she couldn’t stand.

He sat next to her and tentatively reached out to rest his hand on her shoulder.

Eventually, the racking sobs subsided, although he could still feel her trembling.

“Sarah?”

“Hmm?”

“You make a difference for me.”

She broke down again, covering her face with her hand.

Gob panicked. He thought what he said would be comforting, but he had only made things worse.

“Oh Gob,” she whimpered, leaning sideways to hug him again, her barstool tipping precariously. He caught her as she slipped off of the barstool into him.

“Kid, we need to get you home. Or to Doc Church.”

She nodded. “I just want to sleep.”

“I’ll take you home.”

Gob finished closing the bar. It wasn’t quite three, but hopefully Moriarty wouldn’t come downstairs to check in the next twenty minutes.

She was visibly shaking as she leaned against the wall, waiting for him to lock the door. He could see her lips and eyelids trembling and that was more than a little concerning.

“Kid, you’re shaking like a leaf.”

“Doc Church won’t be happy if we get him up at this hour.”

She was right. And Church might tell Moriarty he was out of the bar before three.

She seemed to be collapsing slowly. He let her lean on him, his arm around her shoulders, as he walked her home.

She stumbled down the stairs and struggled up the ones on the other side of the town center.

She fumbled with the key to her door forever.

When they finally got inside, Gob expected her dog to come running over to greet them. He was surprised he hadn’t followed her to the bar.

“Where’s Dogmeat?”

“He… he died.”

Gob felt terrible for bringing it up. “Shit. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she whispered, although from the tone of her voice, he could tell it was definitely not okay.

She teetered as she started climbing the stairs, pausing to catch her balance every few steps. He followed behind her, afraid she’d fall if he didn’t.

At the top of the stairs, he stopped. He wasn’t going to follow her into her bedroom. That was creepy and weird. But… he shouldn’t leave her alone like this, should he? She really did seem like she could collapse at any moment.

As if reading his mind, she whispered, “Gob? Can you stay?”

“I can stay.” He had to be back at the bar in a few hours, or there’d be hell to pay, but he’d stay as long as he could.

She reached out and grabbed him by the hand, pulling him with her into her bedroom.

He panicked again. Then he scolded himself. That couldn’t be what she was after. Just because she was kind to him didn’t mean she wanted to have sex with him. And he definitely shouldn’t be thinking about that less than twenty minutes after she’d been crying into his shoulder.

He hated himself for how eager he was for her to keep touching him. She was reaching out to him because she needed someone to lean on and all he could think about was how to get what he wanted from her.

She slumped onto her bed and started unlacing her boots. Her fingers shook so hard she struggled to get the knots undone.

“Here. Let me.” Gob sank to his knees and untied her shoelaces, pulling her boots off and setting them next to her bed.

“Thanks, Gob.”

She slid her jeans off and pulled the covers up over her.

“You can sleep here with me. Or I have a guest room if you’d rather sleep there.”

“I…“ He could barely believe what he’d just heard. He did want to stay. He wanted to crawl in with her and sleep for the next twenty years. But he didn’t want to see the look of disgust on her face when she woke up. He didn’t want her to realize tomorrow that he’d taken advantage of her. He stood trapped at the indecision between comfort now versus heartbreak later.

“You don’t… you don’t have to sleep here, if you don’t want to,” she said.

Gob snapped back to reality. He was reeling, trying to process what she had just said.

“You can go back to the bar if you want,” she continued. “I’ll be okay.”

It took him another second of gaping before he understood what she had said.

She thought he’d rather be at the bar than here, with her.

He didn’t know what to say to make her believe nothing was further from the truth.

He hesitated before he whispered, “I… I never want to be at the bar.”

She stared at him. She wasn’t crying anymore, but her eyes were still red and puffy. There was something about the way she looked at him that was intimate and unnerving. She was staring straight to his marrow and inspecting his heart and soul.

She flipped her blanket back for him to lay down with her. He toed his shoes off and slid in next to her.

He tensed as she snuggled into his side, her arm resting on his chest, her hand curled over his heart. He felt tears prickle in his own eyes. He blinked them back. He was here for her; he didn’t want her to notice him crying and try to comfort him, because he knew she would. Of course she would.

“Gob?”

“Yeah?” he croaked, his voice cracking on the overpowering feeling washing through him.

“Thanks for staying. For taking care of me.”

“Anytime, smoothskin.”

“If you ever… want to come back… if you need to get out of the bar, you can stay here. Even if I’m not home. I’ll tell Wadsworth to let you in until I can get you a spare key.”

“That’s…” His voice cracked again. “I… I don’t know what to say. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Honestly, I’d do anything for you, Gob. Anything I can.”

He closed his eyes and drew in a shuddering breath. “Same for you, smoothskin. Anything you need.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just desperately need to be able to hug Gob. Is that so much to ask?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this was going to be a one shot, but I was wrong.
> 
> Gob has some internalized prejudice against ghouls. Sarah has some serious abandonment issues.
> 
> Gob and Sarah both believe that no one would ever want to be close to them, for different reasons.

Gob’s first feeling upon waking up was contentment. He hadn’t felt that way in so long, it was foreign and unfamiliar. The bed he was in was far more comfortable than his own and he had slept soundly, something he rarely did.

Then the confusion crept in. He was in a bed far more comfortable than his own, which meant he wasn’t in his own bed. And there was another body in the bed with him.

He opened his eyes. 

Sarah was still asleep. Her face was pressed into his ribs, her fingers gripping his shirt; she had one leg tangled between his.

Once the confusion subsided, the panic set in. He shouldn’t be here. He shouldn’t be tangled up with Sarah, in her house, in her bed. She had been distraught the night before; she didn’t know what she was doing when she led him upstairs and into her bed. 

God, he was so stupid; he should have gotten her home and then left. He should have slept downstairs on the couch. But he had been selfish and his desire for human touch had overpowered his better judgement and sense of decency.

He had to get out of here and back to the bar before Moriarty realized he was gone, before it was light enough for anyone to see him leaving Sarah’s house. He tried to slip out of bed without disturbing Sarah, but she sleepily snuggled against him. Her hand closed tighter on the fabric of his shirt and her thigh shifted between his, making him immediately embarrassingly aware of the fact that he had a hard on.

He stifled a whimper, partially panic and partially embarrassment, and tried to disentangle himself from Sarah again.

Sarah woke up, yawned, and released her hold on him. Gob sat up and grabbed his shoes, eager to get out of here before she noticed anything.

“Gob? What time is it?”

“Uh… I’m not really sure. Before sunrise. But I have to get back to the bar.”

“Okay,” she said, yawning again. “Don’t be late for work.” She rolled over to go back to sleep.

“Yeah.” He stuffed his feet back into his shoes and made a run for it, walking quickly down her stairs and out of her house, breaking into a jog down the stairs next to The Brass Lantern and across the town center.

Jesus. He hoped Moriarty wasn’t awake yet. What would he tell him if he was? Where could he say he had been?

Gob jogged up to the back door of the saloon. He paused, trying to catch his breath before easing the door open. The bar was still quiet. He sighed, some of his tension evaporating. No one had noticed he was gone. He was in the clear.

Or so he thought until Nova slid up to the bar around noon and whispered, “Hey, hon. Where were you this morning?”

“What?”

“You weren’t in your room when I came to wake you up.”

Gob’s eyes went wide.

“Don’t worry. Colin doesn’t know. But where were you?”

He didn’t want to admit it, but he didn’t have a good lie. “I, uh… I spent the night at Sarah’s.”

Nova’s face broke into a wicked smile. “You sly dog. Good for you, honey.”

He groaned. “It’s not like that. She… she was upset. I just… she needed a shoulder to cry on.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Honestly.”

“Whatever you say, sugar.” The way she smirked said she didn’t believe him for a second.

Gob wanted to collapse in on himself and disappear; maybe just sink through the floorboards into a conveniently placed grave under the bar. He was trapped here in life; might as well be stuck here in death, too.

“Hey!” Moriarty slapped him across the back of his head. “Get your rotting ass back to work.”

“Yessir, Mr. Moriarty.”

 

Sarah came in late in the evening. She looked better; her face still looked thin, but she wasn’t as ashy and she wasn’t trembling.

Nova gave Gob an impish, knowing smile as she watched Sarah walk straight to him. Sarah hopped up on a barstool and smiled at him.

“Hey, Gob.”

“Hey, friend. What can I get you?”

“Beer, please.”

He opened her drink and slid it to her. Sarah’s fingers brushed against his as she took the bottle from him. It felt electric.

It seemed stupid after she had hugged him last night, after she had spent the night wrapped around him. But the casual touch of her hand shot sparks through his whole body.

Gob reluctantly pulled his hand back, out from under her touch. He went back to wiping off the bar.

“Gob,” she said.

He looked up at her expectantly. She had her hand extended towards him, palm up, hovering just above the bar.

He stared at her open hand. God, he desperately wanted to take her hand. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t reach out to her. 

He wanted to grab her hand, bring it to his face, and have her brush away his tears, because he would definitely start crying if he did that. He wanted to pull her into his chest again, rest his chin on the top of her head, and stroke her hair. He wanted her to bring him home and spend the night snuggled up against him again.

He wanted so much more than she was offering, than she would ever be willing to give him. He was needy, he was pathetic, he disgusted himself; he would scare her away and he was almost suffocating at the prospect of losing her kindness.

“Gob,” she whispered again.

He glanced around the bar. 

A few other patrons were still in the bar. What would they think of Sarah if they saw her holding his hand? If they knew she had hugged him, had let him sleep in her bed with her?

She was watching him expectantly. Eventually, after several moments of no reaction, she pulled her hand back and sat drinking her beer.

Gob wiped the bar, a little harder than necessary, cursing himself as he did.

“Gob?”

He looked up at her.

“I wanted to apologize… for last night. I know you were uncomfortable spending the night. I… shouldn’t have asked you to do that. I just… didn’t want to be alone and I didn’t know who else to go to.”

Gob suddenly realized how badly they both misunderstood the other. She thought he was uncomfortable because he didn’t want what she was offering, not because he thought he was taking advantage of her vulnerability.

“I…” he started, but couldn’t find the words to explain.

“You can still stay at my place, if you want. If you need to get out of the bar. I do have another bedroom. And a couch.”

Gob’s heart stuttered. She was still offering him a place to stay, a reprieve from Moriarty.

“You don’t have to,” she said. “I know that’s just me being selfish. I like having you around. And I don’t like being alone.”

Gob had to close his eyes against the tears threatening to spill from them. “Smoothskin,” he whispered. “You’re anything but selfish.”

“That’s kind of you to say. But… Jesus, Gob, you suffer enough. You don’t need to put up with my bullshit on top of it.”

“Sarah,” Gob sighed. “It’s not bullshit. And I’m not putting up with it. Last night… that was the first hug I’ve had since I left Underworld, when Carol hugged me just before I left. I… I  _ want _ to… to…”

He didn’t know exactly what it was that he wanted, but whatever it was, he wanted it so badly. The longing was paralyzing. Sarah waited while he tried to articulate how much he wanted. 

Unable to find his words, Gob held a shaky hand out to Sarah, palm up, hovering over the bar, like she had done earlier. Sarah immediately took his hand, squeezing gently, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles.

“Gob? I’m starting to feel like a broken record, but… you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with for my sake. You certainly don’t have to spend the night. I  _ understand _ . I’m clingy.”

“Sarah…”

“Hugging and holding hands are one thing. Co-sleeping is something else entirely, even if it’s completely platonic. Let me know when I cross a line. I’ll respect your boundaries.”

“Sarah. I would sleep in your bed every night if I could.”

Sarah looked confused.

“You can. But… you seemed so uncomfortable last night. And this morning.”

“You don’t mean that. You can’t. You were… you weren’t in your right mind last night. You didn’t know what you were doing.”

“Gob, I knew exactly what I was doing.”

“What would people think if they knew you let someone like me…?”

“Gob, listen to me very carefully. I don’t give a fuck. I literally have no fucks to give. People in the Vault were real assholes to me and my girlfriend because we were girlfriends and oh my god we’re destroying the Vault. The very fabric of society is going to be torn apart by our queerness. I didn’t give a fuck then, and I don’t give a fuck now. Anyone who has a problem with it can fuck right off. Is that why you were uncomfortable? Because you were worried what other people would think?”

“A little.”

“And?”

He cringed.

“Sweetheart, I can’t read your mind. I’m laying all my cards on the table here. I meant what I said last night: I would do anything for you. I want to be close to you. I want to take care of you. But I will back off if you don’t want those things, too.”

Gob looked down at the floor, trying to hide his tears again. “Why?” he whispered.

“Why not?”

“Seriously, Sarah? Look at me.”

“I swear to God, I am going to find every person who has ever made you think you’re not worthy of kindness and I am going to force feed them a tablespoon of Brahmin shit every day for the rest of their lives.”

Gob choked out a noise halfway between a laugh and a sob.

“Do you want to come over again tonight?”

He nodded.

“Okay. I’ll leave the door unlocked for you.” She kissed his knuckles before letting go of his hand and leaving the bar.

A few patrons shot her dirty looks as she left and then turned their glares to him, but if Sarah didn’t care, why should he?

In a few hours, he’d be able to leave the bar; he could spend a few hours safe within the walls of Sarah’s house, warm in her arms, and forget how miserable he was. For the first time since he had arrived in Megaton, he felt something akin to happiness, something like hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently, Sarah's love language is touch.
> 
> If anyone wants more of Sarah and Gob, just holler at me. I've got some other ideas.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah has a surprise for Gob and she's really excited about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said it would be a while before I published another chapter. I lied.

“I heard your girlfriend’s back in town,” Nova said.

Gob groaned. “She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Sure she ain’t. You just spend every night with her when she’s around.”

“That… that was only a few nights. And it wasn’t sexual.”

“Uh-huh.”

He wanted to leave it at that - it wasn’t really any of Nova’s business - but his curiosity got the better of him.

“Who told you she’s back?”

“Jericho. Said he could hear the radio playing at her place this morning.”

He wanted to go see her right now. Knowing Sarah was in close proximity intensified his desire to be near her. When she was in Megaton, he wanted to be in the same room; when they were in the same room, he wanted to touch her. But it was just barely evening; he had another nine or ten hours before he could sneak out of the bar.

Besides, he felt weird being there now that Charon lived with Sarah, too. He had only spent one night at Sarah’s since. 

Charon hadn’t said anything or done anything, but the way he watched Gob as he climbed the stairs to Sarah’s bedroom had been unnerving. 

And Charon didn’t appear to sleep. Ever. He was in the living room cleaning weapons when Gob arrived and he was still in the living room cleaning weapons when Gob left again in the morning. The sheer volume of weapons in Sarah’s house was also kind of unnerving.

The one night he had spent when Charon was there, he hadn’t been able to relax. He knew there was someone else in the house and it destroyed the sanctity of whatever it was he had found.

The few nights Gob had spent there before that had been incredible. Once he was inside Sarah’s house, it was like no one else existed. Once they were in bed, in the dark, snuggled together, he could relax and sleep came to him almost instantly.

Sarah’s house was an oasis. Nothing could hurt him there. Reality crept back in with the sunrise, but for a few hours, everything was right with the world. 

He didn’t want to resent Charon. Sarah had explained everything about Charon’s contract the last time he spent the night. It wasn’t Charon’s fault he was there and it wasn’t his fault Gob was intimidated by him; maybe that second part was Charon’s fault, but only because Charon intimidated everyone. Either way, Charon’s presence had shattered the illusion of isolation at Sarah’s house.

“Speak of the devil,” Nova said.

Gob looked up to see Sarah and Charon coming into the bar. He felt his heart rate pick up as he resisted the magnetic way he was drawn to her.

“Hey, pretty lady,” Sarah said to Nova. “How’ve you been?”

“Enh. Can’t complain.”

Sarah reached into an inside pocket of her jacket and pulled out some folded sheets of paper. “This is for you from Carol,” she said, holding it out to Gob.

He couldn’t help the sharp intake of breath. He hadn’t spoken to his mother in over fifteen years, even through letters. He missed her so badly.

He took the letter reverently. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. And this is for you from me.” She took his hand and pressed a key into his palm, then folded his fingers over it.

He could feel tears coming on, but he blinked them back. “Thank you.”

“I have one more surprise for you, but you have to wait. Come over tonight?”

He nodded.

She smiled like sunshine and he felt his heart break knowing it was for him.

“I’ll see you tonight then,” she said. Then she leaned across the bar and kissed his cheek.

He watched her walk out of the bar, then caught Charon’s gaze as he turned to follow her, and the joy started draining out of him until he was dreading going over to Sarah’s that night. He couldn’t help feeling resentful towards Charon then.

 

Sarah took a short nap in the afternoon so she would be awake when Gob got there. She probably didn’t need to; she was so excited to give him his surprise, she was practically vibrating. She had been reading the same paragraph over and over for almost an hour because she just couldn’t focus.

She heard a key turn in the lock and she perked up. She was giddy to point that she felt vaguely absurd, but she didn’t really care. Gob opened the front door, looking warily around the room before coming in and closing the door behind him.

“Hey!” she said, getting up off the couch.

“Hey,” he said. Sarah reached behind him to relock the door and then wrapped him in a hug. He tensed when she first embraced him - he always did - but then relaxed and hugged her back.

She pulled away from him after a minute. She couldn’t help smiling like a loon.

“Are you ready for your surprise?”

He nodded.

She went to the radio and turned it on. The refrain of “Butcher Pete” played quietly.

Gob’s jaw dropped. He stared at her wide eyed for a second before he broke into a grin just as wide.

“It’s back!”

“It’s back.”

“GNR is back!”

“I knew you’d like it.”

“Did you… did you do this? For me?”

Sarah nodded.

The look on his face was awed but also incredulous, like he couldn’t believe she cared that much about him.

“Smoothskin… I…” He looked at the floor. “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”

The song ended and Three Dog’s voice rang loud and clear through the room. “Because one dog ain't enough, and two is too low, it's me, Three Dog! How you kids handlin' Post-Apocalyptia today? And now… some music.”

The opening chords of “Crazy He Calls Me” started.

“Dance with me?” Sarah asked.

Gob took a step towards her and held out his hand. As she took his hand, he put his other hand on her shoulder blade and gently pulled her into his chest.

“What do you think this is?” he asked. “A foxtrot?”

“The world’s slowest foxtrot, maybe.”

“That sounds good.”

This wasn’t really a good posture for actual dancing, with her head resting on Gob’s shoulder, but they were going at about half speed and Sarah liked it nonetheless. Gob actually knew how to dance and it had been a long time since she had danced with anyone. It had been less than a year since she left the Vault, but it seemed like a lot longer.

When the song ended, they stopped dancing, but Gob held onto her, resting his chin on top of her head. She sometimes forgot he was almost a foot taller than her. He was at least 6 feet tall, but he slouched most of the time.

Sarah gripped the back of his shirt and closed her eyes.

“Are you going to spend the night?”

He tensed for a second.

Sarah felt the moment shatter. The easy companionship, the casual touching, the enjoyment of one another’s company: that had been her imagination. He wasn’t as invested in this as she was. She could feel cold dread in her stomach, dragging her down, like an anchor into the cold ocean. She should have known better.

“You don’t have to,” she mumbled into his shoulder.

“Is Charon here?” he asked.

She pulled back, confused.

“Yeah? He lives here.” Her eyebrows went up. “Do you two… not get along? Like, you’ve got some bad blood from before or something?”

“No, nothing like that… he’s just…” Gob shrugged.

“Seven feet tall and scary as fuck?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.” She paused. “Is that why you haven’t been coming over? Because Charon is here?”

Gob rubbed the back of his head, looking sheepish. “Yeah.”

“Oh, sweetie. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because… it seemed stupid. He didn’t do anything. He didn’t say anything. He’s just  _ here _ .”

“I don’t know how to fix that. Everything with Charon is… complicated.”

Gob nodded. “I know.”

Sarah sighed. “Well, I can’t unring that bell. I have Charon’s contract and I think… selling it would be so much worse than keeping it.” 

“Yeah.”

“So… are we at an impasse?” she asked, looking at her shoes. She could feel her eyes filling up with tears. She was furious with herself for crying and her anger was adding fuel to the fire. 

She expected him to say something along the lines of “Guess so” before heading straight for the door.

“Are we… you mean… what?” Gob’s voice got slightly higher and more panicked with each word.

Maybe she had been wrong again. 

“Are you done coming over?” she asked. “Because Charon’s here now?”

“I… I don’t want to be.”

The feeling of relief and joy was so strange and so strong, she felt a little light-headed, like she was drunk on it.

“Do you want to spend the night tonight?” 

He nodded. “Yes. God, yes.”

Sarah turned off the radio before grabbing Gob’s hand and kissing his knuckles. She led him upstairs.

Sleeping in her own bed was nice. It always seemed more restful than sleeping anywhere else.

But sleeping in her own bed next to Gob felt more like home than the Vault ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote the last 4-6 paragraphs like 5 times because I was like, "Geez, these two cry a lot. That's not good."
> 
> "Crazy He Calls Me" has a 4/4 time signature and is 73 bpm. A foxtrot has a 4/4 time signature and should be 112-120 bpm. That would legitimately be the world's slowest foxtrot.
> 
> I'm going to head-canon heights as: Sarah - 5'5" (1.65 m); Gob - 6'3" (1.91 m); Charon - 6'8" (2.03 m).  
> Gob and Charon probably have different heights listed in a wiki somewhere, but... um... I don't care.


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